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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Regret...?


Have you ever regret of what you have done in your life? 
REGRET - is one word that I wish to delete in my dictionary. I am scared to feel regret. I hope there’s nothing in my life that I should be regretted of. As quote says, ‘Everything happens for a reason.’

However, as a normal human being, we're unable to escape from making mistakes. I admit that I did a lot of things that I wish I didn't do. And most of that moments, I wish to turn back time so that I could do things differently. Feeling upset about the actions taken - that is regret, isn't it? Hmm...

But, for not feeling regret, we actually tend to forgive ourselves easily. We have a tendency to forget the mistake we‘ve done and the worst case is, we don’t learn from it. If it’s only affects ourselves, it may not be a huge issue to handle. But what if it affects other people too? We definitely need to be responsible of our own behaviour. No matter a small mistake or even an awfully damn BIG mistake.

One question-
Do we have a guts to accept all the consequences from our wrongdoings?
Do I have a guts to accept all the consequences from my wrongdoings?
Well I have to admit, IT IS difficult. I always concern too much about what people think of me. The humiliation, the disrespect, the bad impression - I’m not capable enough to manage any of these.

So, is running away the solution?

I pray to God to be stronger and I wish for good things to happen...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

AKU INGIN BERDIRI

Longlai…
Bagaikan sendi-sendi tak lagi berfungsi
Lemah, layu, tidak bermaya
Walaupun cuba ku buka mata

Sayup-sayup kulihat mereka
Jauh dan semakin menjauh meninggalkan aku disini
Yang tak layak untuk dipeduli
Akibat terlalu ego mendaki dan berlari seorang diri
Demi mengejar cahaya yang masih kabur sumbernya

Dan perlahan-lahan kulihat mereka
Menghilang dan pergi
Kecil dan semakin mengecil
Hingga tak nampak bayangnya lagi
Kosong…

Dan di suatu masa
Satu persatu datang kembali
Menatap mengelilingiku seperti boneka
Dengan berbagai-bagai emosi

Kulihat ada yang tertawa mengejek
Ada yang terpekik memaki tanpa henti
Ada yg menangis simpati
Ada yang hanya diam memerhati
Ada yang cuba menghampiri
Tak kurang juga buat tak peduli

Terfikir aku…
Dalam keadaan sebegini
Adakah yang benar-benar akan datang
Dengan ikhlas mengulur tangan
Untuk membantuku berdiri?

Satu ketika ada baiknya
Untukku terus pejamkan mata pekakkan telinga
Pedulikan apa kata mereka
Kelak yang tinggal hanya aku dan Dia
Hanya Satu yang mengerti hati ini
Memberi semangat dan inspirasi

Sesungguhnya…
Hanya aku yang mampu
Merubah masa depanku
Dengan sisa-sisa tenaga yang masih ada
Akanku cuba bangkit
Sedikit demi sedikit…

-cahayack Sept09
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